I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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