i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
