he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
