I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I still have a little drunk in my system
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
