absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
