That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
