i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
