Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
