I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
