I'm lost and stupid without you.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
