My balls are so social today.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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