Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
