I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
