he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
