Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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