I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
