I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
