Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
