After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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