I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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