after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
