I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
