Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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