Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
