I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
