I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
