It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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