p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
