Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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