i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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