he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
