Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
two words: eviction party
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Randomize
