is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
