Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just want nice things and good sex
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
