Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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