either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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