Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
we should paint friendship bongs
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