I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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