it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
