You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
