But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
