I am in a vortex of obligation.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
