I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
