HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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