i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
