This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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