i think my tv is drunk
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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