Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
