Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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