this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
