awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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