lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
