sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
