Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
