If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
