I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
