also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Randomize
