Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
