Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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