I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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