I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
