But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
