girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Holy shit dude........stairs
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
