But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
