I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
